im morgan. just like a lot of you out there, i have a story of my own. throughout my life ive battled with depression. my freshmen year at school i let people get to me. being somebody that doesn’t usually fallow the “crowd”, i was called many names, a slut, a whore, weird. you name it i probably heard it. i cried myself to sleep almost every night & used self harm, but still i was too afraid to show my feelings. i never wanted to be portrayed as week and promised myself not to get attention. things got worse & worse. friends saw scars, and i would end up spending my lunches in the bathroom crying for no resaon. why? i had it all, made the cheer team & jv soccer. i had nice clothes, a loving family & was blessed. but throughout my experience, ive learned the severiety of depression. its not always something you can controll, but instead an inbalence of chemicals created in your brain. eventually a friend made me reach out & get help by telling my family. i began therapy and was put on medication. i seemed to progress but a few months later i had hit rock bottom, until one night i gave up hope. i was tired, beaten, and a mess. next thing i knew i was laying in the e.r. with machines hooked all over being asked so many questions. thankgod for that one friend who called my mother. i made the biggest mistake of my life, i overdosed. the medicine i overdosed on caused seizures and could be deadly, im so thankful to have told somebody after i made thee mistake. the drugs were pumped out of my body & afterward i was transferred into an inpatient system, the child physciatrical facility at u of m. that was the scariest moment of my life. against my will, my parents left me in the strange place. i was surrounded by people with no hope at all. those kids all seemed happy on the outside, but when you saw there teared apart skin, the scars running all the way up their legs, you knew there was more behind their smiles. the people i met truley seemed the happiest, youd never have guessed why they were in that place. i was in the hospital for a bout a week until i was deemed safe enough to go home.
looking back now, things forever changed. when you hit rock bottom, it makes you truly realize how lucky you are to be free & live your daily life. im so blessed to have a loving & supporting family & group of close friends whom have been there for me every step of the way.
now go back up and look at my smile. would you have ever guessed that id experienced all that? behind my smile is everything you will never be able to understand. next time you think you know something, don’t judge.
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